Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 1/18/13 - A Real Husband

"And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:21-33

One of the common misconceptions in Christian marriage is that the husband is the the absolute ruler in his home and his wife is somehow more property than partner. While the word does say for her to submit to her husband this is balanced by the husband loving her so much that she feels safe to submit. It says, "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church." How many of us really love like that? That kind of love requires not only that husbands bring home the check on Friday but that they create an atmosphere of love, security, respect, trust, faith, worship, honesty, kindness, selflessness, understanding, and oneness with God (and this isn't and exhaustive list). If in fact the husband is the king then he should treat her like a queen. He doesn't rule with an iron fist because God doesn't rule him like that. He doesn't expect blind obedience because God allows him to question, and discuss, and provide explanation. He can't truthfully expect any of this if he isn't trustworthy, faithful, respectful, kind and a man of integrity. He can't expect her to follow if he can't lead and he can't follow God. He can't expect her to feel safe and secure if he can't protect and provide for her. He can't expect her to lean on him if he's always toppling over. It's much more than her simple submission. It's his willingness to be there mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually and even be willing to sacrifice himself for her.