Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/23/12 - Consuming Anger

"And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." James 1:19-20 NLT

Anger in itself is a normal human emotion. We all get angry. It's when we allow anger to dictate our actions that it becomes consuming and dangerous. It is OK to be angry when some hurts us but if we endeavor to hurt them back that is sin. Retaliation is not just wrong because of the harm to the other person, but because of the harm it causes our spirit and our natural selves as well. Any doctor or mental health professional will tell you the dangers prolonged anger. It can lead to high blood pressure, migraines, heart attacks and strokes, and that's just the physical consequences.

For recovering Christians the anger and resentments can keep us from growing in our recovery and even open the door to relapse. As the text says,"anger gives the devil a foothold." It's an emotion we can't afford to dwell in for long.

The passage from the Book of James also cautions us about listening before we speak. How many of us have found ourselves being angry over a miscommunication or a misunderstanding. We're not angry over what they said but what we thought they said. A lot of the time if we had just engaged our brain before we engaged our mouth we would have been OK but we caused harm because we didn't think and we didn't listen.

It's time pray for God's guidance in letting go of consuming anger and demonstrating more of His love.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/21/12 - Victim, Victimizer or Volunteer

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4

At some point in the process of recovery and in our relationship with Christ we will see evidence of our old patterns resurfacing, in particular those we haven't truly dealt with. Whether it's childhood abuse that is causing us to select abusive partners, abandonment issues that turn our friendships into "hostage ships" or even sexual abuse issues that cause unwanted promiscuity in the name of looking for love. Unfortunately its the deep dark issues that the enemy loves to set us up with and the main reason that he can use those issues is because we have not allowed to shine His healing light into those deep dark places. So instead of dealing with the issues we now move from victim to victimizer or to volunteer. A victim of abuse who abuses others has become the victimizer and the victim of child abuse who keeps getting into abusive relationships as an adult has become the volunteer. The only way to break the destructive patterns is to turn to God and allow Him to guide us to the heart of the pain and misery that is causing us destruction in the here and now. This is where prayer, meditation, step work, sponsorship and studying the Word and our other recovery literature come in. Now once we are aware of our issues and are in the process of allowing God to work on us, when the enemy does try to throw it our face we now have the tools to do as the text says and "count it as an opportunity for great joy" because we no longer have to fall for the same old trick. Our faith can grow, but in order for it grow as much as possible we have to allow God into even the darkest places in our lives and into the deepest holes in our heart.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/19/12 - Faith in the Gift

"Abraham was, humanly speaking, the founder of our Jewish nation. What did he discover about being made right with God? If his good deeds had made him acceptable to God, he would have had something to boast about. But that was not God’s way. For the Scriptures tell us, “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners." Romans 4:1-5 NLT

Some recovering folk have trouble with accepting the concept that salvation and recovery are freely given gifts and not earned. We, because of the depth of pain and suffering in our past, believe we are unworthy of God, or to be given anything. We think that we must somehow earn our recovery, salvation and our relationship with God. The problem with that thinking is that we're trying to earn something that can't be earned. If it could be earned there would have been no need for Christ's sacrifice.

It's the same with our recovery, if that could be earned then we wouldn't have needed God's help. The steps aren't a process of earning our recovery. They are an act of faith and deeper surrender to God. We can never earn what has been freely given to us. The life we live after the gift is one of serve because we are grateful for the gift not because we are trying to earn it. In fact if we are truly honest with ourselves if it were not for God's grace and mercy we would have been given what we had truly earned, emotional, mental, physical and spiritual death, and not the unmerited favor of salvation and recovery.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/16/12 - Humble Servants

"Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves." Luke 22:24-27 NLT

One of the dangers for people in recovery is a lack of humility. Unfortunately due to our self centered natures, as we more time away from whatever we're recovering from, we can be tempted to fall into the trap of believing we're living and maintaining our newly blessed lives by our selves. We can also fall into a sense of entitlement that because we are clean and saved we are somehow owed something from God. And don't let us into a position of leadership in this state because we will act like princes believing we should be served.

We really need to look to Christ's example. He came to serve and even as King of Kings and Lord of Lords He had humility. He served people and we need that same mentality. We need never forget where we came from or how much further we still need to go. Everything we have including our recovery is a gift from God. We need never forget that.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/15/12 - Don't Give Up 5 Minutes Before The Miracle

"As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Unfortunately one of the assurances of living a life in Christ and in recovery is that we will be tempted on occasion to give up. The reality is the enemy will do all he can do to confuse us, distract us, to get us to turn away from God and buy into defeat. He will try his best to make us think we have made the wrong choice by following Christ and entering recovery. His job is to make us suffer but we can overcome the suffering and temptation if we keep pressing, if we keep our focus on God, IF we PERSEVERE!

Perseverance is one of the keys to walking with Christ and ongoing recovery. Our old life was one of self gratification and that led to near self destruction. So now we find as we begin to deny self and begin living for God we can't fall off at the first sign of trouble. There will be times that we may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel but we just have to trust God that it's there. We have already seen the light in our lives because once we are no longer caught up in our self destructive patterns our lives got better. Now the Apostle Paul is reminding us that there is a greater prize awaiting us, eternal life.

We have to keep pressing until we enter our rest and like Paul we can say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have remained faithful." No matter how tough the temptation gets, we can't leave 5 minutes before the miracle. As much as the enemy may try to make us think we are, we are not alone. God is with us. As Kirk Franklin said, "If your heart is broke, lift your hands and say I know that I can make it. I know that I can stand. With Jesus I can make, with Him I can stand. Now matter what comes my way, my life is in Your hands."

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/13/12 - Step 12 - Sharing God's Love

"What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? No one—for God Himself has given us right standing with Himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For Your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.” ) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-39 NLT

Step 12: Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our affairs. (12 Steps for Christian Recovery)

The ultimate goal of the process of Christian Recovery is not to just no longer do what ever we are recovering from but to allow God to change us so dramatically that we become a living demonstration of the power of His love. The message we carry is hope. Hope that through a loving relationship with Christ that we can be free because of His sacrifice on the cross. The 12 Steps and the Word of God have provided us a path back to God and to change. We who were lost and broken are found and made whole. We aren't perfect but we are being perfected. The love that God has shown us wasn't just intended for us to absorb without sharing. God saved us to use us as an instrument of His will, to let our example shine for others so that folk will be drawn to Him by the change they see in us.

That is the essence of the message, that God loves us so much that He changed us so that we can attract others to be changed. The best way we carry the message is by example. We share His love by the love we share.

***Just a reminder there is no service at RCC til the 3rd Saturday in May. We will keep you posted on our core group meetings, outreach events and other activities in the mean time.***

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/12/12 - Step 11 - Seeking God's Face

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:7-11 NLT

Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God through Jesus Christ, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. (12 Steps for Christian Recovery)

At this point in our step process we should be mostly free of our past, and continually examining ourselves in the present. The next task for us should be to seek to constantly improve our relationship with Christ. Because of the change God has made in us, our prayer life should be more that the self centered laundry list of our wants and needs. We begin to pray for God's will for us and the power to carry it out. We also begin to listen for the answer. There is nothing spooky about this step, prayer is simply talking to God and meditation is listening for the answer. Yet too many of us never even bother to listen.

The problem is that every relationship requires us being able to listen. If you never listen to your spouse they will probably feel as if their feelings and opinions are not valid to you. If we act like this to our friends they probably won't be our friends very often, yet we treat God just like this and say how much we want to grow.

Our growth is directly tied to our relationship with God. The more we seek Him, the more we will grow. If we don't seek Him we won't grow. 

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***Unfortunately our 9th step devotion was never posted so here it is***

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation 4/11/12 - Step 9 - Time to Reconcile

"So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny." Matthew 5:23-26 NLT

Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

This step is the culmination of dealing with the wreckage of our past. Having dealt with and allowed God to deal with why we caused the harm so we will be less likely to do it again, and having allowed God to cultivate His character in us, it is now time to attempt to reconcile with those we hurt. Even though we might have some fear about going to those we hurt, we must put that aside so that we can finally be free. Now granted some folks may not accept the amends and we have to be alright with that because God will acknowledge our effort. We also need to understand that we don't just apologize we make amends. This means if I stole your TV, I need to replace your TV. If I took money I need to pay it back.

We also need to understand that these steps are in order for a reason. If we have thoroughly worked the previous eight step, by the time we get to this step our lives will show evidence that we are no longer who we used to be. If we had tried this immediately after we got saved and our recovery began, we probably wouldn't have been taken seriously, but now after some time clean and walking with Christ we are very different and even the people who we hurt can see the love of God coming off of us. God can work wonderful healing in their hurt and pain if we stay humble and willing.

***Due to a lack of support and financial means we are suspending services at Recovery Christian Center until the 3rd Saturday in May. We are going to be doing some community events and outreach in the neighborhood prior to the relaunch. We are asking for your prayers and support and we will keep you posted on our status***

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/10/12 - Step 10 - Renewing Our Minds

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." Romans 12:1-3 NLT

Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

A line of this same text in the King James Version says "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,". There is a reason that renewing is in the present tense. We need to constantly be taking a look at our thinking, our actions, and our behavior. Since we are never going to be perfect, as we progress we will always find something new to work on and those things will require God's renewal.

The text also cautions us to, "Be honest in our evaluation of yourselves," because we are always in danger of being in denial of our shortcomings. Our ego can look at where we came from and where we are at now and only see the improvements, but if we look at where we are now and compare it to where God wants us to be we can get a more accurate spiritual barometer. God is mostly pleased with our progress but there is still much more to do. We have to be willing to continue to look at ourselves honestly and see where we are still falling short.

Plus the more we evaluate ourselves and honestly take a look at us, and go to God before the feelings and thinking becomes actions the less we will have to make amends for. God loves us and wants to help us grow. In the previous nine steps we have dealt with our past. Now we must continue to look at ourselves in the present to make sure the past doesn't try again to dictate our present and that new shortcomings don't move us to far off track in the here and now.

***Join Us Saturday @5pm For Our Resurrection Weekend Service, 4110 Haverford Ave in West Philly! If you feel like you don't fit in at a traditional church than this is the place where misfits FIT!***

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/6/12 - Step 8 - Fear Impeding Our Forgiveness

"I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him." 2 Corinthians 2:5-8 NLT

Step 8; We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Many of us express fear at this step. We are afraid that when it is time to make them amends we will be rejected, condemned or in some other way treated harshly. However, we are forgetting that it's not time for the amends yet. We are merely asked to make a list and become willing. The opportunity to make amends will present itself later. We are also forgetting that God has already forgiven us. Jesus paid our price on the cross. He who knew no sin became sin for us. So we can approach the amends with confidence that God has already forgotten about it. The purpose of the amends is to help us clean up the wreckage of our past. We're getting better but we still need to acknowledge the harm we caused. This step not only addresses the harm but also begins to put a face on that harm. We didn't just lie we lied TO somebody. We just didn't steal we stole FROM somebody. Those people are owed amends and belong on our list. We can't let the fear of how they will perceive the amends to keep them off the list.

We also need not make a judgment call about putting someone on the list because they harmed us as well. The list is about the part we played and the harm we caused. When we look at the entirety of what God has forgiven us for it becomes hard to hold a resentment. Besides the resentment is only harmful to the one who holds it. Its time to let go and deal with the part we played. We can't let our fear of what might be keep us in bondage anymore.

Today on Good Friday it is time to take all of the pain we have caused and begin to nail it to the cross and make our list.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/5/12 - Step 7 - God Loves Our Willingness

"And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life. I have written this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life. And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for." 1 John 5:11-15 NLT

Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

One of the many joys of parenting is when our children trust us enough to come to us when they are struggling with something. When they are maturing enough to ask for help or ask us to share our experience we are usually grateful that what we have taught them is beginning to come to fruition. Well it is the same with God when we bring our struggles to Him. Too many of us think that God will be angry when we bring our shortcomings to Him, when exactly the opposite is true. He knows that we can't change our shortcomings by our self. He knows only He has the power to remove them so in fact like any parent waiting on their child to ask, He is patiently sitting on the sidelines waiting for us to ask. When we ask God to take away what is no longer what is healthy for us we are carrying out His will. We are asking for something He wants for us. So instead of being ashamed that we are asking for help, we should find joy in the love He has for us knowing that He wants to help us.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/4/12 - Step 6 - Identifying Our Defects

"The Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?” Then Jonah went out to the east side of the city and made a shelter to sit under as he waited to see what would happen to the city. And the Lord God arranged for a leafy plant to grow there, and soon it spread its broad leaves over Jonah’s head, shading him from the sun. This eased his discomfort, and Jonah was very grateful for the plant. But God also arranged for a worm! The next morning at dawn the worm ate through the stem of the plant so that it withered away. And as the sun grew hot, God arranged for a scorching east wind to blow on Jonah. The sun beat down on his head until he grew faint and wished to die. “Death is certainly better than living like this!” he exclaimed. Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry because the plant died?” “Yes,” Jonah retorted, “even angry enough to die!” Then the Lord said, “You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?" Jonah 4:4-11

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

The purpose of this step is to use the information in the previous step to identify our defects of character and then humbly take them before God. Even as saved folk progressing in our recovery we will still find defects. None of us are perfect and unless we open up and let God in our defects will eventually prevent us from deepening our relationship with Christ. The shame and guilt from acting our on a defect that we know isn't pleasing to God may interfere with our prayer life or have us in denial about the behavior in the first place.

We see from the text that Jonah had two glaring defects: a lack of compassion and a spirit of unforgiveness. It is interesting how even though God forgave Jonah for his disobedience, Jonah was so quick to want to see the city of Nineveh punished. Sometimes this same spirit happens to us in recovery as well. We forget where we came from and when we see someone else struggling we treat them with a total lack of compassion forgetting how God was compassionate with us. This spirit happens when we stop going to God with our defects and struggles and try to live as if we are somehow perfect and no longer sin. We now are caught up in a new defect called self righteousness.

Rather than be caught up it is easier to approach God honestly and humbly acknowledging our defects and asking Him to remove them. Until He does we need to remain in that humble and honest state because with all our flaws we can not afford to condemn others. Even after God removes all the defects we're aware of we still can't afford to judge because if we are honest with ourselves we will see that underneath all the ones God removed are some new ones we are unaware of. This is a never ending step, we must constantly seek God to make us better servants of Him by removing everything that will impede us from serving Him.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/3/12 - Step 5 - Exposing Our Past

"On October 31 the people assembled again, and this time they fasted and dressed in burlap and sprinkled dust on their heads. Those of Israelite descent separated themselves from all foreigners as they confessed their own sins and the sins of their ancestors. They remained standing in place for three hours while the Book of the Law of the Lord their God was read aloud to them. Then for three more hours they confessed their sins and worshiped the Lord their God." Nehemiah 9:1-3 NLT

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

While we become aware of our past in the previous step, simple awareness isn't enough. We need to expose it. It's much easier to go back into a state of denial if no one else has heard us say it out loud. This step asks us to take our inventory and expose it to God, to ourselves and another human being. Some folk may ask why we need to expose it to God when He already knows, but we need to understand that part of building this relationship with Him means giving Him all of us unconditionally. Not to mention that we are biblically committed to take our sin to Him. It is the act of confession, surrender and submission that allows us to grow closer to God.

We also need to expose it to ourselves because we need an accurate picture of ourselves in order not fall back into the trap of ego, pride, self righteousness, and self centeredness. When we see ourselves as flawed and fractured individuals who need God, we find it easier to accept the flaws of others as well.

We also need to expose it to another human being because we sometimes need a fresh set of eyes and ears to help us spot patterns of behavior we were unaware of. As and old wise man once said, "It's hard to spot denial and self deception by yourself!" This exposure will help us sift through the garbage of our past and put it in perspective.

Honestly taking this step will allow us to no longer hold ourselves or allow others to hold us hostage to our past. We can be free.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/2/12 - Step 4 - Facing Our Past

"The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan, and Pelaiah—then instructed the people in the Law while everyone remained in their places. They read from the Book of the Law of God and clearly explained the meaning of what was being read, helping the people understand each passage. Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were interpreting for the people said to them, “Don’t mourn or weep on such a day as this! For today is a sacred day before the Lord your God.” For the people had all been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” And the Levites, too, quieted the people, telling them, “Hush! Don’t weep! For this is a sacred day.” So the people went away to eat and drink at a festive meal, to share gifts of food, and to celebrate with great joy because they had heard God’s words and understood them." Nehemiah 8:7-12 NLT

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

One of the traps for people in recovery and in Christ is that they get stuck at Step 3 or salvation. We saved but whats next? We have turned our lives over to God so we should be good right? Biblically and in the step process that's just the beginning. We still need to take a long hard look at ourselves to get to know ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, our self destructive patterns, and how our past is still dictating our present. It's time for an inventory.

When the remnant of conquered Israelites returned to Jerusalem to rebuild, they were unaware of their past and how far from God's Law they had been living. When it was read and explained to them the realization of their past sins caused a profound sadness until their leadership told them, "Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!" He wanted them to understand that finding the truth should be a joyful experience. It's the same with us today. While the process of facing our past can be an emotional experience, we need to do it so we can get better and better get to know ourselves. While we will find out we have done many things that weren't pleasing to God, we need to remember that because of our decision in Step 3 to surrender to Christ we are already forgiven.

The purpose of facing our past is to help us get better and deal with issues if not dealt with will cause us problems now. We are making a fresh start on a new life in Christ and in our recovery. This is a time of celebration. We are celebrating God for what he has done and is continuing to do in this new life.

Recovery Christian Center Daily Meditation - 4/1/12 - Step 3 - Committing to God

"So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor." James 4:7-10 NLT

Step 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God through Jesus Christ. (12 Steps for Christian Recovery)

In the previous steps we admitted the problem and the solution. Now in this step we are simply being asked to make a decision to commit to that solution. The time for being on the fence is over, now its time to truly buy in to the process. The reason we make this commitment is simply because we understand that our recovery is tied to this decision. We can't expect to access the Source of our hope and strength if we're not connected to that Source.

It's very simple really. We know that in order to recover we have to change, and we can't change ourselves dramatically enough to maintain our recovery. The only being that can change us is God but He has also given us free will. Simply knowing we need help is not enough. He won't begin to help us on a deeper level until we ask and allow Him to help us. It's time to to allow God's will to become our will for ourselves and to let Him care for the our live that we have only made a train wreak of. Once we surrender to Christ we can really begin to recover.