"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." Galatians 5:13-15
Many times when we first come to Christ and into recovery we are coming out of an extremely lonely and isolated state. Almost immediately we begin to desire companionship. While there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship the problem is we tend to get our priorities out of order. The first relationships we need to develop are not romantic ones, but the ones with God, self and our sponsor, mentor or accountability partner (depending on the recovery language you use). Until we know who we are and what our spiritual grounding is then we will not know what a healthy relationship really is.
There is an old saying, "We attract what we are." Well that is only true if we're healthy. Those of us still spiritually, mentally, and emotionally sick and defected up tend to attract whatever responds to our state of being. If we are victims then we attract predators. If we are submissive then we attract domineering folk. If we are caretakers then we attract those who can take care of themselves, etc. etc. and vice versa. We mus first allow God to use His Word and the process of recovery to heal us before we attach ourselves to folk who are bad for us.
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